Thursday, 11 October 2007

The K word

Last night was singly the most shit night I have had out yet at Royal Holloway. But I enjoyed it anyway. Fuck Knows why.

I ought to mention that, around eight P.M., I was very much in two minds about whether or not to go out at all. I now put this down to God, who usually has my back, trying to prevent me from making a Massive Fucking Error.

Little beknownst to me, Wednesday is RHUL's weekly 'twat' night. Generally the music is generic R&B, a lot of the more meatheaded sporting societies have their socials and the security apparently have given it the nickname "Guns and Knives Night".

I turned up in a fluorescent jacket with the words "Atomic Bomb Squad" on the back, a tee-shirt whih proclaimed that "I bring nothing to the table" and a slightly surly attitude.

This retarded mix produced the following lowlights:

1.) Being hit round the head by members of the rugby social and, when I elected to forgive them and believe their feeble excuse, being rewarded with a second smack, this time round the front of the head.

2.) On attempting to say hello to a young Chinese gentleman, being met with the following:-

Me: Hello (shakes hands)
Him: Er.... do we know you?
Me: No, I'm just trying to meet new people
Him: Ok. Could you go away and leave us alone please?

My ego bled.

3.) Almost getting my fucking head kicked in after trying to mediate in a fight

4.) Attempting to mediate in an argument only to discover, moments later, I was it's cause. Actually, this one needs further explanation.

My friend Mike who is Greek, a first year, very left wing and spectacularly outspoken was arguing with a first year girl who we shall call Little Miss Oversensitive, or LMO for short. I probed what they were arguing about and it was what she described as 'The N Word'. Mike was making the argument that he used the word all the time with both black and white people, and that LMO had no right to be offended as she was white. I disagreed, saying she had a right to be offended but also that the degree of offence should depend on the context. What was said context?

LMO: "You're the one that said it!"


It would appear I had briefly before greeted Mike with my not unusual 'hello' replacement of 'Sup my n word?' and then promptly forgotten about it. Mike had been defending my honour. Cue a moral dilemma.

Do I switch sides to defend what I personally don't think was a wrong action? Or do I stick to my guns and leave poor old Mike, who had waded in to my defence, on the wrong end of a 2-1 defence?

I elected to do neither, both briskly defending the reasons for my use of said racist American pejorative and telling Mike he was being too nasty to the girl. Result? Within a few minutes they had made up and agreed I was being a knob.

But not before LMO had claimed to be offended by "the N word, The C word and the K Word".

The K word? The K word?? As an afficionado of swearing, and a regular user of both the N and C words I was delighted to discover there was an equally - if not more - offensive word which began with K. Sadly, she would not reveal to me it's identity reasoning, quite fairly, that if I knew it I'd use it.

5.) Listening to Amerie's pissweak shitty set while watching the crowd stand motionless, mostly taking photos. 'Live' music my arse. It was barely breathing.

Please comment with your own views on how much of a dickhead I was last night.

P.S. If anyone knows what the 'K' word is could they please tell me. I can't imagine it's 'knob'. Surely it can't be?

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