Banging your head against a brick wall, only to find it's not made of brick, it's made of trifle

Oh for God's sake!

The fresher flu caused me to sleep for roughly 48 of the last 72 hours. Really.

Having finally gotten over it, I made my way towards my seminar. I got the time wrong, which meant i was an hour late for it. The I couldn't find the room. When I did find the room, it had been evacuated. The room it had supposedly been moved to contained a Spanish class. After briefly considering just giving up and doing Spanish I decided, instead, to just give up.

A fine start to my year this has been. I have so far missed all my lectures and seminars this week. My house is horrible, so I shower and sometimes sleep on campus. Right now I hate Royal Holloway.

In other news, my student finance form was returned yesterday by the Royal Mail. Jam had forgotten to put the address on it. I have decided to file this under 'hilarious' rather than 'infuriating' as, frankly, it is the kind of shitbollock idiocy I am known for myself. However it does mean that, unless I win the poker tourney tonight, I am broke for a while.

I have been thinking a lot today about the principle of "creative destruction". More specifically, I ahve been thinking that maybe it is one of those times in humanity's development where we should just shoput 'fuck it', tear the whole lot up and have another go. The Mayans had the good sense to just shrug their shoulders and leave behind their broken society. Perhaps we should too.

Of course, I'm guessing this apoplectic misdirected rage is a mixture of the arse end of my flu and the start of year blues. But, right now, Tyler Durden's vision sounds like a good one:

"In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway."

For some reason that has always given me goosebumps. Sadly, I don't have time to blow up any credit card companies this week as I ahve too many lectures. That, and anarchy doesn't work .

Well, it didn't take my blog very long to go all ranty and emo, now, did it? I apologise on behalf of myself and my ancestors. In future more funny, less crazy. Promise.

Just a quick one

Fresher's week is over. Yesterday I slept for twenty four hours. I shit you not. I have Fresher's Flu, which is horrible. I have still failed at my on going mission to lose my virginity (I lost it once before but it's grown back).

My feelings about Royal Holloway oscillate wildly between an almost apoplectic love of the place and a dreary, cynical hatred. Replace the words "Royal Holloway" in the previous sentence with any other noun or verb to reveal my feelngs about said thing. Go on, try it.

And he knew he'd never play the tambourine again

So, I'm working on the beans vs loo roll campaign and I am listening to scroobius pip. I've got it on at a normal volume because I'm playing Thou Shalt Always Kill, and everyone needs to drink in those lyrics. In any case, there are only two other people in the lab, one is wearing headphones and the other is a mate of mine.

This girl walks in, sits down and does some work. So far, so what. But when she gets up to leave she comes over to me and says:

"You are not on your own here, and some people might not like your music so you should use the headphones."

For a start, what headphones? The ones she is going to buy me? I haven't got any headphones. So I get a bit shirty and say:

"Listen, if you'd come over to me when you walked into the room and asked me to turn my music off because you didn't like it, I'd have respected you and done as you asked. But instead you have waited until you are already leaving and dressed up your pet peeve in a load of pseudo moral bullshit to make it seem as though you speak on behalf of the room. I didn't like the silence, so I decided to put some music on. If you don't like the music, you can ask me to turn it off. But acting like I have done something actually wrong just discredits and devalues the very idea of having a common ethical code, a trend which in itself is contributing to the decay and downfall of modern liberal society!"

Or, rather, that's what I should have said. What I in fact said was:

"Yeah. Thanks. Bye."

Which was just as passive aggressive without any of the accompanying social commentary.

The long and the short: Don't mess with politics students. Unless they are pussies like me.